Dear Payton

The idea for this post comes from my friend and fellow blogger Candace over at Hippie at Heart. She has written to her daughter Harper as a way of documenting and reflecting on where they are in their journey. When I read her first post, Dear Harper, I was inspired to do the same with each of my children. My Children are a bit older so there will be some reflection. I hope to one day share these with my children so they can see themselves through my eyes and know how much I truly love them.  

Dear Payton, 

You are an amazing child. You will forever be my baby. When You were born my world changed. I was scared. Alone. Heartbroken. Sad. But more than anything I was overwhelmingly happy. You came into this world a perfect baby weighing less than six pounds and small enough to fit into one hand. But you had legs. Oh girl you sure did they stretched on forever. When you were born I was so clueless on how to be a mother, you made it so easy. You healed me. 

Over the years you have grown so much. You have an amazing mind. So incredibly smart and loving. One of my favorite memories of you comes from the day we brought your little brother Preston home from the hospital. You loved him so much. The first night was a tough one he woke up a few times and each time you would come into our room and stand there ready to help. It was like it was your duty as his big sister to help. Things are a bit different these days. Your brother is almost 4, and in your eyes he’s just in your way. He loves you so much. He looks up to you and in so many ways he wants to be just like his big sister. 

You are an amazing child. I love being with you. Talking. Singing. Playing. Learning. I learn from you all the time. So much of me is afraid for you to get older. I know I will lose you. At some point you will want to spend more time with your friends than me. And some day you will not want to be around me at all. I’m guessing this will happen around middle school. And if you're anything like me it will last years. This breaks my heart. Just know I love you so much. I know you will do great things. 

You have changed my life so much. You have made me who I am today.  

I love you so so very much. 

Mom